About CoDA

Introduction

Many of us struggle with the following questions: What is codependence? Am I codependent?

We desire precise definitions and diagnostic criteria before we will make a decision about this. However, as stated in our Eighth Tradition, Codependents Anonymous is not a professional organization and we do not provide a definition or diagnostic criteria for codependence.

​

What we do offer from our experience are the characteristic attitudes and behaviors that describe our lives as codependents.

We believe that recovery begins with an honest diagnosis of ourselves. We have come to accept that we are unable to maintain healthy and loving relationships with others and ourselves.

We have come to see that the cause lies in long-standing destructive life patterns.

Welcome to CoDA

CoDA is a codependency recovery program where we share our experiences, strength, and hope in finding freedom and peace in our relationships with others and with ourselves where there was previously dependency and confusion.

Most of us have sought ways to overcome the effects of conflict in our relationships and childhoods. Many of us were raised in families where addictions existed, but some of us were not. Either way, we have all found that codependency is a deeply ingrained, compulsive behavior pattern that stems from our sometimes slightly, sometimes extremely dysfunctional family systems. We have all experienced in our lives the painful trauma of the emptiness of our childhoods and relationships.

We have tried to use others, our partners, friends, and even our children as our only source of identity, worth, and well-being, and as a way to repair the emotional damage of our childhoods. Other serious addictions may have played a role in our lives, which we have used to cope with our codependency.

We have all learned to survive, but in CoDA we learn to live. By applying the twelve steps and principles of CoDA in our relationships and in our daily lives, we can break free from our self-destructive lifestyles. It is an individual growth process. Each of us develops at his or her own pace and will continue to do so as long as we open ourselves to God's will every day. By sharing our experiences with each other, we find recognition. This helps us to let go of the emotional ties to the past and the compulsive control of the present.

No matter how traumatic your past or hopeless your present may seem, there is hope for a new beginning in the Co-Dependents Anonymous program. You no longer have to rely on others as a power greater than yourself. Instead, you can find a new inner strength here to be as God intended: valuable and free.

​

What do we do?

We work according to the twelve steps and twelve traditions as they have been adapted for our purpose, based on the twelve-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In this we attend meetings, read the CoDA literature, work on the step work with a step work group or a sponsor (a fellow CoDA member) and make use of the support of our fellow codependents in the program.

In this way we gain new insights and find recognition with each other, on our path of self-discovery on the way to self-love.

The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

We are on a journey to discover ourselves and learn to love ourselves, and we come together to support each other and to share our experiences. When we live according to the program of the Twelve Steps, we can be honest with ourselves about our personal history and our own codependent behavior.

In this we rely on the knowledge and wisdom described in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions as adopted from Alcoholics Anonymous and adapted for our purpose. They form the principles of our program and are guidelines for developing honest and satisfying relationships with others and with ourselves.

In Codependents Anonymous we learn to build a relationship with a Higher Power as we imagine it, and we grant others the same privilege. The resulting process of renewal is a gift for our recovery. By actively following the Codependents Anonymous program, we can bring a new peace, acceptance, and happiness into our lives.